Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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