I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
