I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
