i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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