i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
