Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
nutella sex= disaster
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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