Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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