She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
