I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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