Me too!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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