I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
