i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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