omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize