I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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