That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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