Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
