she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
