Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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