OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
