I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
