one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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