I cockslap morals
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
