He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
