where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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