Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
