Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I will be naked everywhere
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
