"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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