I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's rum buckets o'clock
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
