Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
