Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
