Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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