I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
