i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
