There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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