can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
