I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
