i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
tell me about the eggs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
