Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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