On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
