No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're too hungover to prance.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
