At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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