Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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