After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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