Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did we literally take a cab across the street
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
