If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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