remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
