Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
