All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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