Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
