The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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