whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
