You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
