I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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