why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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