Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize