this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
is that a dick in a sweater?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
