Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
