True but thats because hes a fetus.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
