Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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